At the start of each year, we often take time for self-reflection, starting new projects and making resolutions. Many of us begin the new year with hopes to improve ourselves. What a perfect time to feature a series of posts on gaining wisdom! Over the course of this month, we'll continue to post interviews with experienced mothers and feature stories written by women about what they've learned, and are continuing to learn, about motherhood. Thank you for starting the new year with us. We wish you all a very happy and inspired year of growth! ~TMC My goal was to write for this blog at least once per month. Yet, the last post I wrote was oh...in October. Are there reasons? Oh yes, there are lots of reasons: family visiting, sickness (as I write this I'm on day 4 of something awful...thank God for babysitters!), allergy and amino acids testing for our little man, Thanksgiving, Christmas, traveling, a death in the family. Yes, there are reasons. But I think the overarching reason? Lack of intentionality. Granted, all of those things are more important than writing a blog post (sorry TMC), however, if I'm going to constantly give myself a guilt trip for not completing a blog post, or a craft project, or whatever it may be, then I think I need to do a little self-examination.
Our little one is full of energy, and I work 25+ hours each week outside of the home. Many days, when bedtime hits, I'm drained, and all I feel like doing is sitting on the couch, mindlessly surfing the internet (read: Facebook and/or Pinterest) or watching TV. And sometimes, that is OK, and needed. However, I then begin to rack up in my brain all of the things I haven't yet done: blog, paint that cabinet, organize the storage area, start running again, etc.; and I begin to feel guilty. Then, I feel overwhelmed because I don't know where to start on any of those things, so I turn to the fall-back and am right where I started.
What I'm realizing is that I can choose how to spend that downtime; I control it, it doesn't control me. (OK, some nights, it wins. Let's be honest) I need to own my decisions. If I am choosing to spend time online, fine. Then I must be happy with that. If I am not happy with that, then it is up to me to choose differently. Sitting by idly and wishing I'd spent my time differently does nothing to actually change the way I am spending that time, it only adds to my frustration and guilt.
Today, today I am sleeping, resting, blogging and possibly finishing up a few episodes of Downton Abbey with my husband (who is finally hooked, hooray!). Why? Because I am sick, and I need the rest. And those are the choices I am making. Tomorrow, whatever decisions we make with our time, let them be because we thoughtfully and intentionally chose to do those things, instead of passively letting our life live itself for us.